Cricket out my Humanities – Nkeiru Okeke

Do you want to read a very strange story:

Cricket out my Humanness.

“I get what you’re saying Mom but you can’t really blame me for complaining, just within 5 years I have been moved to a zillion different countries, and now it’s Mauritius all the way from West Africa.”

“I love it here, I really do…the blue Indian ocean engulfing the drylands like a doting mother with her child. Yadda Yadda Yadda!!…all that doesn’t still stop me from voicing my displeasure from constantly being thrown around like a hopeless lover” Beatrice was already fed up with her mom always being right about her eventually loving her new environment after so much hackle.

Beatrice felt it was more of a dig at her marital status than her competency as a product director presided over her. She was the youngest Vice president in the project team working on diversifying the firm’s portfolio into the hospitality and tourism sector.  The team had 5 locations to understudy and workout products to help achieve their goal.

The Maldives, Santorini in Greece, Bora Bora, Seychelles and Mauritius, all these locations aside from that Beatrices’ had enough open-source information to work with.

When her boss Nicholas straddled into her office with his granny pants as she often imagined it to be, she knew it was to let her know she was the sacrificial lamb to be physically going to Mauritius “Beatrice..Betty for short, with that look you’re giving me, i don’t think i can get out what I want to say from my throat” Betty managed to give her boss the most plastic smile ever, while he continued.

“So, this is a big one for the project, and we need someone young, agile and smart to carry this one last hit for the team, which of course would be magnanimously rewarded. Honestly, I couldn’t really think of anyone more qualified than you, you know the brilliant stuff you did with the SME product package, I just didn’t think twice when I had to nominate someone for the Mauritius trip. Congratulations Betty”

Beatrice saw herself hearing something else which it felt more genuine, it sounded like this “You know your other colleagues are married with small kids left to nurture, it would be really unfair to keep them away from their family especially when someone like you is in the team. Someone unencumbered with family responsibilities, or conjugal obligation to a man called a husband or motherly obligation to children……that sounds like someone perfect for the job, someone like you” confused on which of the statements to respond to, the fake or real, Betty eventually shook her head before blurting out “thank you, sir”.

Now, she had been in Mauritius for over a month and it left like every day was a vacation for her. She would take pictures of the blue water where her condo faced and send them to her only friend, “her mother”. She would also sit out in her gazebo and enjoy the sea wave every evening while on a video call with her Mom.

“I agree you should complain, but since you always end up loving the place, then try not to complain so much and just go with the flow. Please pass some of that sea breeze my way, because it’s very hot at my end” Beatrice’s mom told her as she savagely ate the roughages of her orange

“Mom, what are you eating like that? Someone would see you and would think I don’t provide for you” Beatrice had a scowl on her face to show her displeasure at her Mom’s mannerisms.

Beatrice studied her mother as she continued to gnaw off the orange roughages. “I’m disappointed to say Mom, but I now feel like having an orange myself, like I’m salivating….it must be that sweet, right?” Beatrice and her mother gave a loud laugh.

“The woman you bought the watermelon from the other day, she should still be open…right? Better run and get your own orange so we could both watch ourselves gnaw on oranges” Betty found herself rushing at her mother’s words, to meet up with the fruit vendor before she closed.

With the hunger for oranges she now had because of her mother’s aggressive orange licking, she packed a handful of oranges of all shapes and sizes which slipped from the corner of her hands, as she made her way to pick them up from the tarred ground, the seller “Laurette” discouraged her from doing so, she told Beatrice to leave it for her son to pick it.

It was already late and Beatrice had already bent down to pick some of the oranges, as she picked the very last to put in a nylon bag, she noticed a pair of legs. She had never seen legs so bow and rough, they seemed like two pieces of rods a panel beater kept hitting against each other until they were eventually deformed with a bow angle to it. The legs were hideous, but that wasn’t what really mesmerized her.

As she scanned the owner of the legs with her eyes while standing back up, when she got to his waist area and the individual took a step forward, she noticed the biggest genitalia she had ever seen on a male Homosapien.

She was taken aback by the heavy movement of what remained hidden in his trouser, which now seemed like shorts because of his bow leg. The boy seemed really young to be in possession of what swang like a pendulum when he moved, “Laurette, that’s your name, right? You have such a helpful young man as a son, how old is he?” Beatrice asked.

Laurette, who was already used to those sorts of questions about her son, knew the exact tributary that sprung forth Beatrice’s question. She responded with a very warm smile “He’s 18years and he can’t wear an underwear because he overheats around that area, I have tried to make him wear one since he was a child but I guess it’s a medical condition”

Beatrice didn’t care to understand what sort of medical condition it was, she was more interested in exonerating herself of what she felt the woman thought of her for asking such a question to cover up her actual curiosity “No, no, no Madam…….that’s not what I’m trying to ask or imply, he’s just quite helpful…..that’s all. I didn’t even take note of anything.

Now, she felt really ashamed of herself, and her anxiousness made her buy almost all the fruits the woman had left, she just couldn’t stop buying, anything to avoid eye contact with the woman who saw through her lies, she only stopped when the women asked her if she would able to carry all the fruits back home herself, especially since she didn’t come with her car.

Beatrice suggested that Laurette wait so she could go pick up her car, but Laurette insisted that her son would help her carry the fruits home since she lives close.

The woman had this stern look on her face that Beatrice couldn’t say no, even if she wanted to.

As Anton dropped the bag of fruits on the kitchen floor, he had this smirk on his face. Beatrice looked at him, she could see some lingering defining features on his face which seem faded because of years of endured hardship.

Now Anton gave her a little smile, and she saw herself blushing like a teenage girl, she mentally gave herself a slap to snap out of her brief hallucination.

“Your bin is filled up, let me help you with that” Anton went ahead to clear Beatrice’s bin area, swept and took it out to full view for the trash guys to pick it up whenever.

Beatrice was in her living room speaking with her mom when Anton interrupted to tell her that he had finished and was about to leave. Beatrice went to her kitchen to see the wonderful job he had done, she was so touched, she decided to give him a wad of cash.

Anton was elated and left with a zest to tell his mother how the most beautiful woman he had ever met gave him money to do something he had always felt he came to this world to do.

When he got back to his mother’s store, he showed his mother the money and they both made a chirping like sound to each other, a sound which only the both of them could understand before Anton nodded his head and went to give his mother a tight hug.

While in the loving embrace of his mother, she whispered into his ear “you’ve done well, but the main work is yet to start”, Anton looked at his mother and replied, “yes, but she’s different, I feel it”.

Beatrice had spent her night purging, she took one look at herself and felt she had lost 10kg overnight, she was so weak she couldn’t even brush her teeth. Her hands felt so heavy, holding the toothbrush felt like she was holding a 5kg dumbbell. To even get to a toilet to purge for the umpteenth time she had to crawl. Beatrice was scared, she thought she would die, she had never purged this much in life.

She called her mom and soon regretted it because her mother spent her whole day worrying and calling her non-stop. At almost every hour her mother would call her and ask her “Betty dear, have you tried to get something to eat, or at least fluids, your body needs electrolytes for strength” and Betty would lash out at her mom “Mom for the hundredth time, I’m too weak to get up, your call is even stressing me, how then would I be able to prepare something to eat. The doctor has given me some drugs to stop the purging, and I would get better soon. Moreover, you were the one that tempted to go buy the fruits and I ended up buying spoilt pomegranates…. and here i am”

Her mother was already used to Beatrice putting the blame on her for anything bad that happened to her, but she was more interested in seeing her daughter get something to eat “Betty, don’t you have friends to help you around? At least someone you can call to help cook and clean for you because you need to eat to get well” at that point there was a knock at the door, and Beatrice managed to muster all the strength she could get to answer the door…….lo and behold it was Laurette and her son Anton with a basket of fruits to thank Beatrice for the money she gave Anton..

In Beatrice’s mind, she was like not again, these same fruits that put her in this condition, she gave a cheerful smile and received the fruits.

“You don’t look good, are you alright? We didn’t see your car in the morning leaving for work as you often do, or you didn’t work today, I hope all is well? Laurette felt worried for Beatrice and there was no way Beatrice was going to tell Laurette that her fruits put her in this condition.

Laurette and her son offered to run some errands and do some chores for her which Beatrice didn’t refuse because she needed all ​​ help she could get.

“I make a mean peri-peri chicken, I can see you have some of the ingredients in your fridge, how about i make something for you to eat” Laurette just went ahead with the cooking, she knew that Beatrice needed help but was being careful not to over demand, which Laurette didn’t care about.

Now Laurette was done cooking and her son Anton was clearing the kitchen when Laurette looked at her son and without words but chirping sounds between the both of them, Anton advanced to call Beatrice.

Beatrice laid in the couch asleep when she felt a huge shadow on top of her, she couldn’t make out the face of the figure but it kept on thrusting into her, and again she couldn’t feel a thing so she wasn’t sure if the shadow was having coitus with her……’re supposed to feel it, right? Beatrice thought.

Now the shadow was about revealing it’s face before she felt this overwhelming fear which made her jerk up immediately to find Anton right in front her, she sat up to face his unusual phallus, she then raised her head to see him giving her that weird smile again “I’m sorry for waking you up, but my mom says you need to eat. She’s done making the chicken, you can come take the quantity you can finish.”Anton told her

“I could help you up, if you’re too tired” Beatrice was concerned that Anton sounded too much of a man for his age…..helping her up, cooking for her……he had better not hold her because she might as well fall in love with him.

“Thank you darling but I can manage” as Beatrice walked to the kitchen whilst Anton walked right behind her, she could swear she heard a cricket chirp but before she could confirm if it was a cricket, everything felt very woozy to her and last she could remember was Anton taking a leap to stop her from falling to the ground.

She woke up to find Laurette and Anton staring right at her “you’ve been out for 3mins, you’re really low on electrolytes, you need to eat to get energy or better still should we call the hospital for you. That’s true, your mom called and I picked, she’s very worried, you’ll need to call her.”

Beatrice was still woozy and the information overload made it worse, she gestured for food to get the so called electrolytes. Everything felt so tasteless, so miserable, so pathetic, she hated being sick and she felt like crying but kept on feeling Anton gaze at her, so she held herself.

“I don’t think it’s wise to leave you alone in this condition, I would suggest we stay the night and leave tomorrow morning” Laurette took the words out of Beatrice’s mouth which she hurriedly agreed to. Beatirce was afraid for her health, she had never been this sick.

One day of stay turned to 3 days and Beatrice didn’t mind neither did her mom who encouraged her to keep them around since they were really helpful.

Beatrice still hadn’t told her mother of the weird nightmares she often had and the unusual chirps she had been hearing, those nightmares had persisted and the chirping noise had increased. Anytime she tried tracing where the sounds came from, it would stop all of a sudden.

The last nightmare, the thrust felt so real and when she woke up, she felt this pain around her sacrum tending towards her anus, she went to the bathroom to take a look. Holding a small mirror facing directly to her anus, it looked so painful and soft, she then felt the need to go to the toilet.

As she sat on the toilet seat she hoped that when she takes a dump, her fragile anus doesn’t tear apart. As the feces sloped through her rectum, it felt like she was defecating poop the size of a baby. It happened so fast that she couldn’t even scream or feel the pain, she slumped to the ground and when the pain had subsided she managed to look inside the toilet to see the biggest poop a human had ever ejected.

She was scared for herself, she took a mirror and looked at her anus one more time to see if it made it, her anus seemed like it was breathing and still alive. She then flushed the toilet a zillion times, cleaned herself up before going back to bed.

When she woke and was dressing to leave for work she noticed her TV remote was moved from the position it was kept and surprisingly she heard Laurette’s voice, she thought they left yesterday. “How did they get in, what’s happening” as Beatrice got to the lounge area to get some answers everything seemed woozy again.

Next she could remember was that she found herself in her office car park, frustrated with her lack of recollection and being generally tired she alighted from her car and went straight to work.

She didn’t want to think too much about it, because of the fear that what could be wrong could be far worse, she knew something sinister was wrong and she was going to ignore it. Moreover, she couldn’t do much in her life if she was walking around with fear, whatever happens….happens.

On her way back from work, she stopped to get some toilet rolls to cushion her for another anal like delivery panorama. As the counter cashier scanned her items, Beatrice saw a mini camera which she asked the cashier of how it worked before she got a few for herself.

When she got home she was again surprised to see Laurette and her son still in her house,but before she could say anything, everything felt woozy again only for her to wake up in bed by 3am in her nightwear.

Beatrice leaped up, she was scared because she had no recollection from the time she got home and how she got changed into her nightwear. She remembered the camera she bought and went ahead to install it hurriedly before she would feel woozy and forget everything.

She wanted to see what happened to her anytime she lost track of time, so she put the camera in strategic places in her house while Laurette and her son appeared to be asleep in the other room.

She connected the cameras to her phone and her mother’s phone and left instructions of how her mother could activate it but without telling her mother why she was putting all those measures in place.

And for the umpteenth she took another dump in the toilet, and everytime it seemed like she dropped 10kg after it. Her rectum appeared to have adjusted well because she had stopped feeling the pain, it was always a gentle wipe down her gaping rectum before she would go back to sleep.

She woke up finally on her face with her back facing upwards, she felt the shadow she often saw in her nightmare on top of her thrusting as usual, but this time it was real and the pain was almost non-existent because of previous incessant thrusting.

She gently turned her head but very afraid of what she might see, the figure was huge and had antennas that sprang about like cat whiskers.

She finally went through with the gaze to see what looked like a human cricket with the face of Anton. He gave her that weird smile again, and when she tried to beg him to stop she chirped like them.

Completely flabbergasted, she began to scream but the only voice that came out from her larynx was the noise of a cricket, when Anton spoke to her and told her to stop screaming in cricket language, she was surprised she understood, even when Laurette came in and told her to be calm for the metamorphosis to be complete, she understood as well.

Beatrice was stupefied by why on earth she could understand cricket language but most importantly why she could speak the language by chirping like it. She begged for it to be one of her nightmares but it was real.

Anton had this beetle shaped head with a housefly kinda eyes and two pairs of antennas, one small and the other big by the sides of his head. His long cricket-like abdomen rippled with digested pulpy substance that kept on churning like it was cooking up something, his legs which were bow had taken the shape of a triangle curving down from his knee joint…….she was too bewildered to utter any words

Laurette on the other side was in her full cricket form, petting Beatrice to make the whole process easy on her. Anton still on top of her thrusting his cricket phallus in her anus whilst ejecting pulpy cricket spermatozoa in large quantities.

Beatrice couldn’t move, she laid there not fighting anymore, she had tears in her eyes knowing her mom would cry herself to death if she didn’t come out of his. At that very moment, she had flashbacks of her life as a little girl, her mom making her hair and telling her beautiful stories to put her to bed. She cried more, because she would miss her mom and that was her last memory before she blanked out.

She woke up to see herself in a hive swarmed by crickets with her in a position that seemed like the queen mother. She had completely metamorphized into a cricket and now spumed large amount of cricket eggs in the hive.

All the crickets hailed and worshiped her each time a batch came out from her now cricket opening that was formally her anal rectum.

Laurrette and Anton were proud of themselves, they chirped, saying that she is very productive and would last decades before they would need to get a new queen mother.

Anton mounted on top of her again and ejected more of his cricket spermatozoa to keep her producing. Beatrice felt defeated and as usual accepted her faith. All her “eggs” suckled around her. She thought, at least I finally have children, no one would ever make me go where I don’t want to go, she knew that thinking was shallow but it consoled her anyways.

Beatrice’s mother was in Mauritius to get her daughter back in whatever form ,she was determined. She knew no one would believe her so she never went back to the police again. She had shown them the video recording of everything that transpired leading up to her daughter turning into a cricket but they felt it was a movie and didn’t bother with her.

She got a private investigator who after his preying found out that no one in the community actually knew who those people were, according to them they just appeared from nowhere and started selling fruits. Also, old missing cases of similar nature had the same story of a mother and a young boy of an unusual phallus size coming and leaving after a young woman goes missing.

The investigator told her that the police department labeled all those cases as paranormal activity, he also said the last one happened in Siberia 10 years ago.

Beatrice’s mother felt like her heart was gorged out but she was still alive. She went to where Beatrice lived in Mauritius to pick up her belongings and before she left she said a little prayer “my little one, you’ve always loved crickets when you were little, chirp to me to let me know that you’re alright so I can rest gently”

And her last night in Mauritius as she managed to snag a few minutes of sleep, she felt a ticklish movement on her forehead, it looked straight into her eyes and chirped, before it flew away.

“Thank you for letting me know that you’re alright. I love you…..I will always”

Nkeiru, who is popularly referred to as Kiki is known for her strong storytelling skills especially in the area of African sci-fi, and has written quite a few short stories which borders on romance, dark love, fantasy which would soon to be published.

She hails from Anambra state in Nigeria, the western part of Africa. She studied Accounting in Nnamdi Azikiwe University, Awka Nigeria and went ahead to do her master’s in finance & Accounting at Salford Business in Manchester United Kingdom, where she bagged a distinction.

Currently works in the UK; she joggles between working as a professional and writer, which she has confessed to be quite daunting but never lacks motivation because writing and storytelling is something she has always been passionate about since she was little.

She loves to swim, travel and read; these activities she emphasises helps churn her creativity juices.

She notes that her talent was harnessed majorly as a result of the movies and books she was exposed to as a kid which comprised mainly of animation cartons and some other short African stories, which carved a place in her heart for short stories.

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